The Breakdown: Iron Man 3 Trailer

Iron_Man_3_Trailer HeaderA new trailer is all over the internet today for the upcoming Iron Man sequel, and it’s still presenting itself as bigger and better than Iron Man 2.  Suck it Whiplash, and your stupid ribbon dancers can too!  Here were my thoughts while watching the trailer.  Don’t worry, if you don’t care about those you can just watch the preview after the break.

0:23 – Maybe you can’t sleep because that shawarma place didn’t agree with you.

0:38 – Sorry Mister President, but you just got upstaged my War Machine, the real man who will be defending the country at all costs, even if he didn’t have the right to commandeer that suit from Tony back in the last film.  At least I think that’s what happened…  I prefer the first film to the sequel.  Anyway, you just keep making your speeches.

0:38 Part 2 – I still prefer Captain America’s World War 2 suit to this patriotic armor, but Don Cheadle is just a man so he needs the added protection.  It is still Don Cheadle, right?  He didn’t get booted too, did he?

0:39 – I’m sorry, but the Mandarin is a lame name.  All I can think about are kids eating those little Cutie oranges and going on about how easy they are to peel.  If a kid can defeat this, then how much of a challenge can an old man confused about his nationality be?

0:47 – Phew, it is still Don Cheadle.  Granted, if he had scheduling conflicts with a full length Captain Planet film I wouldn’t be disappointed at all. (Understand that reference here)

0:48 – Goodness can Ben Kingsley talk any slower?  Do we know what the finished run time of this movie is?

0:55 – When I first saw this I couldn’t help but think of a mash-up of Superman Returns and Lost.  I’m still team Superman on this one, but I am interested to see how Iron Man handles this since Tony Stark is too stubborn to admit that he probably can’t save a plane.

0:59 – See, this is why you have a secret identity!  So people can just blame Superman or Batman for not getting something done, and you can go on silently scowling at these ungrateful jerk faces without a camera in your face.

1:10 – Well good job there, Tony, you probably just signed her death certificate by telling Pepper that she’s the only thing you care about keeping safe.  Now we know what he’s going to fail at doing during the movie.  She’s definitely going to get a nasty scratch, at least…

1:25 – SLOW MOTION BOOM!  Also, we see yet another model of the suit that basically just flings parts at Tony and pieces itself together.  Because the bracelets from The Avengers weren’t complicated enough?  Somehow this also looks pretty painful as they pelt his body.

1:38 – He’s still underwater when he takes his mask off, right?  Because based on the scene before that’s what is implied…  And he might have a big head, but even Tony must know that he will drown if he just takes a nap at the bottom of a body of water.  Why is he giving up?  Probably already failed at the whole “keep Pepper safe” plan.

1:47 – Okay, maybe that last scene happened in this snowy landscape (or is it ashes?), which is far less dramatic, though mighty pretty.  I’d say Tony decided to poo poo the empty life vs. meaningful death question and fight for both because he stands up before the question is even finished.

1:49 – Someone tell Pepper she doesn’t have to ride the roller coaster!

1:53 – There’s a good chance “The Mandarin” might have started out as his rap name.

2:00 – Something tells me that if Tony had that blaster on his hand the gun in the other probably isn’t doing that much damage in comparison.  He must just really be upset with the poor job the surgical staff did if this is the reaction they get.  OOOO! Did they do something to implant that blaster thing into his hand!  What?  That’s not crazy at all!

2:01 – Ugh who stole Pepper’s shirt!?

2:05 – “I’m not afraid of you.  No politics here, just good old fashioned revenge.”  BAMF

2:20 – Oh no, not more Iron Men…  I haven’t even fully accepted War Machine yet!  And we all know how well this went last time…

So what did you all think of the trailer?  Overall I’m really excited for this one, thanks in large part to Tony Stark’s role in The Avengers, but also because this trailer shows that this film has some great potential to go dark.  Hopefully there is a little time for some of his sarcasm during all the pain and suffering though.

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