Now Streaming Review: The Invitation

Excuse me, but there’s been a mistake: I checked the box for Ready or Not with vampires on my RSVP, and this most certainly is not that.

First Things First: Alfred Pennyworth would never.

Brief Thoughts: Good news is, if you’ve seen the trailer then you no longer need to see the movie, because the bad news is if you’ve seen the trailer then you’ve seen the entirety of The Invitation already, and have likely been misled by what this drawn out movie (that has far more empty allusions to Dracula than it does worthwhile commentary or tension filled moments) is about. I mean, I guess technically I did get what I RSVPed for, but instead of being the main course as it is in Ready or Not, the movie doesn’t really get to the “twist” that we all know is coming until the dessert plates have already been cleared and carted back to the kitchen.

Favorite Line: “I mean, look, he’s wearing an ascot. What could he possibly want with my broke ass?” “Your kidneys.” Oh Grace, the movie needed more of you, but unfortunately unlike Rod from Get Out or Mollie from Fresh (who both felt integral to their films’ stories), you disappeared since not much could be done from across the pond. I honestly think the writers actually forgot about her, especially considering how tacked on a certain scene feels, a scene I can only assume was shot a while after the rest once they realized their mistake.

Biggest Disappointment: At one point our protagonist Evie (Nathalie Emmanuel) is told that the windows are barred because of Shrikes, carnivorous birds that have been known to impale their prey. Though I realize this does come back symbolically a couple of times, I am unreasonably bummed that we never see an actual avian attack. Hell, I would’ve taken one shitting on that bitch Viktoria.

The Saving Grace: If it wasn’t for Thomas Doherty and the predatory allure behind his slow smile (and his abs) to glamor us all – the groan I just let out when I fully took in his character’s last name of De Ville after seeing it written down for the first time – then this movie really wouldn’t have much else going for it.

Final Thoughts: Seriously, save yourself the 103 minutes and just watch the trailer.

The Invitation is now streaming on Netflix

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