Ana de Armas is lucky that I could never hold a grudge against her, because she is fully to blame for me watching what is easily my least favorite film of the year so far.

Brief Thoughts: Seeing as I don’t know much about the true stories and people that inspired Wasp Network, I’m unsure of where to place the blame: is this film a failure because the filmmakers tried to make a movie out of nothing? Or did they just do a horrible job adapting the story into an interesting film? Whatever the case, Wasp Network sure feels like a movie without substance, with scenes that don’t really matter or connect in any meaningful way to the grand scheme of things as they awkwardly fade in and out as time rockets forward, providing little to no information to help me understand what the Hell is actually happening. The only thing I really knew about the characters is that they most definitely do not deserve the women in their lives. I’m still not positive what organizations did what, who was on what side of a Cuban revolution, and/or if they were pro Castro or not.

Quick Questions:

• They have McDonalds in Guantanamo Bay?
• Why is Wagner Moura’s super skeevy character famous?
• Were some of the super minor speaking roles given to people pulled right off the street?
• What kind of person is firmly against smuggling/selling drugs, but doesn’t blanch at potentially murdering a ton of people?

Biggest Complaint: This movie takes so long to get going, with things only looking up when the Wasp Network is finally mentioned at the one hour mark with an Ocean’s Eleven styled key players introduction. Unfortunately this portion of the film – the only portion with any personality – leads nowhere, and we continue to not actually see these characters in action, thwarting terrorism. Or whatever it is they actually do. Suffice it to say I want THAT movie, not this dumpster fire that can barely keep burning since there’s not enough substance to fuel the flames.

Final Thoughts: Save yourself some time and just read the Wikipedia page for Wasp Network. Not only is it more interesting, but it’s actually informative.

So what’d you think of Netflix’s Wasp Network? Be sure to let me know in the comments below or over on twitter, where you can find me at BewareOfTrees.