I’ve been hearing nothing but praise for Get Out ever since it was first released in theaters, and now I finally know why.

Basic Synopsis: A white girl brings her black boyfriend home to meet her parents and things are super awkward. Not Ashton Kutcher makes a racist joke at the dinner table in Guess Who awkward, but definitely awkward. Get out ASAP because you’re probably in danger awkward.

Brief Thoughts: The majority of the first half of Get Out is exactly what you expect it to be, in the best way possible. It’s recognizable, it’s uncomfortable, it’s disquieting, and it does a great job of keeping the uncertainty and suspense alive until things escalate in the reveal. And man, we’re not talking your usual “take it up a notch” levels of escalation; we’re talking American Ninja Warrior rapidly jumping up the salmon ladder notches.

Even better, You’re Next, I will not be a victim notches.

Now because I’m not the most eloquent or intelligent person when it comes to social commentary I’m just going to leave my brief thoughts at that and follow up with the question…

Quick Question: Why’s it gotta be black mold!?

Brief Thoughts (cont’d): Also worth mentioning is how great Daniel Kaluuya is as the lead, Chris. His performance and range of discomfort and emotions, and range within those specific emotions, during the hypnosis scene with Catherine Keener will probably put it on a bunch of “best of” lists at the end of the year.

Is There A Fun, Quirky Best Friend?: Usually this question is reserved for a different genre of film (mainly romantic comedies/dramadies), but I just wanted to reiterate what everyone who has seen this movie already knows: everyone needs a best friend like Rod. Why? Because he will always be there for you no matter the cost to himself: need someone to watch your dog? No problem. Need someone to cover your shift at work? He’s on it. Need someone to dive head first into a populated racist neighborhood that’s trying to turn you into a sex slave? He will be there with a fresh supply of sarcastic comments and I-told-you-so truth filled jokes.

Is There a Dog in This Horror Film?: Though Get Out really isn’t a horror film so much as a suspenseful thriller, it does toe the line in a lot of ways, which is why I still feel like answering the question. Yes, there is a dog, but don’t worry, he’s fine.

(SPOILERS TO FOLLOW) I actually wanted to bring the dog up because I wanted to know if anyone else was super bummed when Rod showed up to save the day and Chris’s dog was not in the car with him. Come on, Rod, you take the dog to the police station to file a missing persons report but you don’t bring him to rescue his best friend!? One point deduction to Rod. But just one, cuz he’s still awesome.

Awesome Observation By A Friend That Of Course I Didn’t See Myself (SPOILERS): Before Rod eventually shows up and rescues Chris, Chris frees himself by picking cotton. I was too busy making sure it is actually possible to clog your ears with chair stuffing while your hands are strapped to the chair’s arms to recognize this detail. Did I mention I’m not the most intelligent when it comes to social commentary?

The Real Question of the Movie (SPOILERS): Why did this family and community choose to only body-snatch black people? Towards the end of the movie one of the members of this community proposes the question “why black people?”, assuming Chris would want to know the answer. I know as a consumer of neatly wrapped stories I sure did. Unfortunately he doesn’t really have one; definitely not one that is “satisfactory.” Not that there is any answer that would forgive what they’re doing, but when it comes to evil we crave to understand it. And we can’t understand “I don’t know.” We can’t point our fear and anger towards “I don’t know” in a way we can to a real answer (e.g. – Why’d the murderers target the couple in The Strangers? Answer: Why not? That gets a big ol’ NOPE from me!).

In the end I guess we just have to accept that it doesn’t make sense. And it shouldn’t.

Movie Summed Up In One Line: “Man, I told you not to go in that house.” Of course Rod said this.

Double Feature: I’m pairing Get Out with A Cure For Wellness because they both center around a mystery lying under the surface of “idyllic” locales.

Final Thoughts: Constantly keep an eye out for deer, don’t trust a drink that needs to be stirred, and always listen to Rod.

Oh, and watch Get Out, obviously.

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