The Breakdown: You’re Next Trailer

You're Next Trailer HeaderNothing says Happy Easter like a breakdown of a horror film that looks truly scary!  Watch the trailer and read my thoughts on it after the break.

0:06 – With music being turned on in this home invasion horror film with masked murderers in all the marketing, the comparisons to The Strangers are now going full force.  Bet it’s going to start skipping any second now!

0:13 – “The perfect weekend.”  Classic horror film trailer start.  By the end of it blood is going to be everywhere.

0:14 – Half timbering!  I know you don’t care, but my history of period styles teacher would be so excited for me right now.

0:17 – So is this just a family reunion?  Because that “thanks to mom and dad” sounds rather gloomy, like it’s more of an “we haven’t seen each other in so long, not since mom and dad died, so it’s about time.”  Murderer outside: “And soon you will join them!” [Evil cackle as he drops back into shadow].

0:30 – How big is this house?  Or is this bathroom just connected to a bedroom?  At least shut the door you sluts!

0:37 – AAAHHH masked figure reflection!  This is just like the guy creeping out of the darkened hallway in the back of the shot as Liv Tyler stands alone in the living room in The Strangers!  Yes I am back to talking about The Strangers!  [Hyperventilating starts]

0:39 – What animal is that mask supposed to be representing?

0:44 – Horror film 101: Don’t stare out windows!  Best case scenario, the murderer just pops up and you pee your pants a little.  Worse case, that window shatters thanks to someone who doesn’t care about breaking and entering laws jumping through it.

0:45 – What the heck was that close up shot?

0:49 – Arrow to the head!  ARROW TO THE HEAD!

0:57 – See now they implement the avoid windows rule…

1:11 – How the heck would you know how long you’ve been watched?

1:13 – I take it no one thought to lock that door.

1:20 – Hey look!  It’s the film’s title!  As if seeing one of your family members getting speared through the head wasn’t enough, now the psychological horror is kicking up a notch as the killer isn’t just taking everyone out, but leaving scary blood messages on mirrors.

1:22 – Darn it woman! What did we say about windows!

1:23 – Epic fail.

1:24 – No seriously, what kind of animal is he?

1:30 – Goodness horror film trailers sure now how to pick the best songs.  Perfect examples: The Crazies had Michael Andrews & Gary Jules singing “Mad World” and The Last House on the Left had Taken By Trees’ cover of “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”

1:31 – Another “you’re next” blood notification.  These new decorations are going to become really traumatizing for the last person remaining.


1:34 – She may have fumbled all the knives, but now it’s finally time to shank some people.  Sole survivor mode GO!  Bathe in blood like the girl from The Descent!  Fight them with their own breed of terror!

1:44 – Oh my goodness… If that row of nails was set up by that girl with the ax (who I am assuming is the girl who had the knife since I’ve gone ahead and decided she’s all that remains capable of taking back the house) as a booby trap for the home invaders then I am going to cheer so loudly I am going to get kicked out of the theater.  Ok, realistically I am just going to get confused glances when I gleefully cackle at the pain of the bad guy when he steps on it, if that is what goes down.  If one of the victims steps on it I will probably just whimper at the unjust world.

1:46 – An ax booby trap too!?  Someone is getting pwned!

1:49 – That girl is so terrified her eyes are rolling back in her head.  Seriously, I had to take this trailer frame by frame just to verify that she had irises.  I was concerned…

1:56 – Holy goodness scary movie montage overdrive! Something tells me that the film might ramp up like the speed of the images in this trailer.

1:58 – Well that doesn’t look comfortable at all.

2:01 – I’m never going to figure out what the heck that mask is of…  If I was one of the people in the house, that question would be the last thing on my mind as I died.

Final Thoughts: I’m a sucker for horror films so I will pretty much see anything in the genre if the oppurtunity arises, but this film looks terrifying enough that I cannot wait to get into the theater.  Zac claims that it’s supposed to be the next Cabin in the Woods, so that’s all the more exciting.  I just have no idea where the comedy is going to fit in with all the screaming.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to continue to try and figure out what those animal masks were of.  My guess is a bunny, sheep, angry cat hybrid.  A beet.  A shunt.  A cunp.  Yep.

[Update – Ok, so there are actually three different masks.  Clearly my observational skills were too scared to work properly.]

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