Of all the fears I have around the idea of being cryogenically frozen, I can say with full confidence this outcome was not one of them. 

A Spoiler Free Synopsis: A woman flees her life in politics in disgrace, deciding the best place to hide from her pursuers is a floating defunct museum/graveyard of the cryogenically interred, not realizing that no matter how paradisiacal the Elysian Fields may be, it is still a level of Hell.

Brief Thoughts: The Elysian Fields of S.A. Barnes’ making is far less utopian resting place for the heroes of millennia past (though this was likely how it was sold to those who’ve taken up posthumous residence) and far more Five Nights at Freddy’s than expected. Don’t worry, I’m not calling this an ode to Scott Cawthon’s ridiculously popular gaming franchise — I still say Barnes’ last book, Ghost Station, was Lena Luthor fanfic in disguise — there was just a collection of comparable elements that made imagining animatronics running around this once child friendly tourist trap a fun filler while the true evils of the ship kept themselves to the mysterious shadows.

Comparable elements include: A mythic creator who got up to the darndest things when attempting to thwart death, a security room covered in camera feeds perfect to catch glimpses of unexpected cohabitants (maybe ghosts tethered to the bodies still paying for room and board, maybe thawed out corpses grasping at any form of the revivification they were promised, maybe androids or xenomorphs with a score to settle [the Alien franchise has done us dirty too many times when it comes to cryotanks to not be on the table]) and a special button that prevents uninvited guests from making an appearance… 

Quick Aside: I don’t care what we’re told the button Halley is required to press every 3 hours does, I still don’t trust it. Instead I have my own theory and I haven’t been told it is wrong, therefore it must be right. No I will not be taking any criticism on this logic.

Brief Thoughts (Cont.): …its darkened halls haunted by the ever-stalking disembodied clanks, bangs, and surely-not-actually something breathing, old tech that feels incredibly suspect in its responsiveness, and evidence of past guardians that have made mysterious exits.

A Favorite Highlighted Quote: “You have to be in a special kind of hurry to leave a shoe behind.”

Can No Longer Be Called “Brief” Thoughts: To put it frankly, Halley’s ability to rationalize away anything that occurs within the walls of this barely-on-the-right-side-of-derelict ship is beyond impressive; it’s honestly unparalleled — even by the most infuriating of soon-to-be-murdered characters of horror. It doesn’t help that the one other crewmate onboard is as happy to gaslight her as he is to keep their interactions on a screen-to-screen basis, or that she is so sleep deprived that hallucinations are probable… and yet, the majority of my notes on page after page were simply “girl…” in increasingly exasperated levels of capitalization and punctuation, with a smattering of “FAMOUS LAST WORDS” thrown in.

Another Favorite Highlighted Quote: “‘You’d prefer not to see it, which, frankly, is far more sensible. I can’t blame you for that. Unfortunately, sense is not the only factor at play here.”

I Swear I’m Almost Done with My Thoughts: Seeing something she wishes she hadn’t is what got Halley onboard the Elysian Fields in the first place, and this history is doomed to repeat itself if those capable of doing something take the cowards way out, sticking their heads in the sand waiting til the worst of it has passed instead of being proactive is perfect, if not extremely on the nose, when it comes to a story about a megalomaniac full of empty promises for a better future while draining those who buy in of their present, allowing the defenseless to suffer, unchecked.

Apropos of nothing, special shout out to the pointed question about whether kids are still taught about Nazi’s in school centuries after WWII, and the mention of Elon Musk as a tech visionary idolized by an unhinged douchebag. Just two unconnected things of note.

Final Thoughts: Much like with Ghost Station, Cold Eternity keeps you guessing at trying to piece together exactly what the hell is going on around a character who may or may not be losing her mind. Goodness knows both Halley and I did not see that final reveal coming, and I cannot tell you which of us was more upset about it: Halley because of the unfathomable levels of horror, or me because it takes one small step for mankind too far. Regardless, I still had way more fun reading about it than she did experiencing it, that’s for sure.

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Be sure to check out my review for S.A. Barnes’ Ghost Station as well.