Michael Bay returns to the robot fighting business and the results are a gorgeous, long winded, and many times pointless adventure that didn’t really learn anything from the first film’s short comings.
Sam Witwicky is about to head off to college. Two years removed from his last adventure with the Autobots and Decepticons galaxy spanning battle for survival. The Autobots are now part of an elite global team called NEST and they travel the Earth looking for the remaining Decepticons hiding on our planet. Meanwhile, Sam and his girlfriend Mikaela are preparing for a long distant relationship as she stays behind to help keep her dad on his feet since leaving prison. As he packs, Sam finds a shard of the All Spark from two years earlier in the sweatshirt he was wearing and when he touches it something happens to him that he can not explain. Meanwhile, Optimus Prime and company take out a pair of Decepticons in hiding and learn of a plot for a “return of the fallen.” Sam is off at college for merely a day, and experiences some weird symbol visions to boot, when Bumblebee, his first car and protector, shows up from home and takes him to see Optimus and they discuss that a war is coming and that Sam and the humans may be at risk. From here, the Decepticons plot begins to unfold and Sam is sent on the run to protect the information in his head that he doesn’t quite understand.
Now, where to begin? First off, the effects are fantastic on par with Terminator for the best of the year but I am not quite sure if the action in this one lives up to the action in that film. The first hour or so of the film is on par with the first Transformers film. It’s fairly quickly paced, there are a few scenes where it is a bit much, and a plot line that is absolutely pointless and useless (the college roommate). There is a great action set piece to open the film and an epic fight in the woods between Optimus and some key Decepticons, but after this fight the film really starts to drag. And the reason it drags is because it is essentially the start of a new movie where we have to learn the origins and background of our new threat in the film. This stuff, while a bit long winded, probably would have worked if it was the opening of a film, but we get like 20-30 minutes of plot, background, and origins that is all there to set up a lackluster adventure tale and the final battle which is the entire third act.
Once the film gets to Egypt everything seems to almost be moving in slow motion as nothing is really happening yet the plot isn’t really moving forward. Bay does a great job at setting up this epic battle and while we certainly get a few quality bits and fights out of it, we spend far too much time following around the human counter parts doing very little to entertain or move things forward. I mean, what worked in the first film? If they had stayed with Sam and the Transformers and got rid of all the government and computer stuff and stripped the military guys to the bare minimum and you have a tight action packed and much shorter film that would have been even more greatly received. Here we have less sub plots but Bay still wastes a bunch of time going to them for no noticeable reason. I applaud him for just about nailing the right amount of the military personal this time, but he throws in this presidential advisor plot that does nothing for us, everything at the Coms base is pointless, and everything with the roommate and Turturro (who is actually bearable and no where near as annoying as he was in the first film) are a complete waste of time and are either redundant exposition or are a series of crude jokes you just wonder what they were thinking.
When it comes to the Transformers, there are just too many of them and the ones they exploit are annoying and you just want them to more or less go away. A new set of twin Autobots are actually a despicable and racist stereotype that are so poorly handled you are just asking yourself how did these two non-humorous and annoying robots get probably the most screen time in the film. In fact, it seems that unless you are a robot that can make dick and fart jokes or curse you don’t get to be on the screen all that much. I mean, did know one listen to anyone after the first film, we wanted more Optimus and Bumblebee not a couple of dumbass comedians when we asked for more robots. In fact, Bumblebee is completely underutilized and could have easily taken the place of these two clowns in the film, especially since they are actually capable of squeezing out some clever and fun humor from the character when they want to.
Also, I know you aren’t supposed to think so hard when watching a big summer movie like this, and I wasn’t I promise, but there were some glaring continuity errors and plot that were either contradictory or weren’t really thought out very well and while not ruining the film, they will cause you to go, “wait a second,” and will be serious fooder for anyone wanting to rip this film to shreds.
Though I will say, I did enjoy the parts I came to see. All of the Transformers, minus the twins and a misconceived elder Decepticon that shows up, are a joy to watch and have some pretty grand fights. When the action is focused on the robots the film is a blast, but unfortunately we don’t get as much as we want; again. There was some good humor between Sam and his parents as well, but the overkill it a bit, and the relationship between our two stars works a lot better in the film with LaBeouf and Fox doing as good enough job as they could with what they are given. And I am pretty much just rambling now so let’s just get to the end.
In the end, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen works when it is focusing on what it does best, fighting robots, but is oddly paced and feels drug out for nothing of any kind of substance. Things are just happening for little reason sometimes and the plot in the later half of the film is almost an exact rip off (even down to the path and buildings) of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusades search for the cup of Christ. The first third of the film shows promise, even if similarly flawed to the first film, but eventually grows so big and has so little substance that we feel like we are waiting for something interesting to happen; and thankfully it is entertaining when it does. But I don’t know, fans of the first film will have some fun but I find it hard for anyone to merit this as being better then the first and if you weren’t a fan of the first one stay far, far, away; there is nothing for you here.
Revenge of the Fallen is a C-, and I don’t know how well that will hold up.